


--> Love Him

by Arniss Akared (Dwinarnith), tortoiseshellKelpie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drugs, Drunkenness, Fluff and Smut, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rape Fantasy, Red Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-03-24
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:34:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwinarnith/pseuds/Arniss%20Akared, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tortoiseshellKelpie/pseuds/tortoiseshellKelpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well perfect.</p><p>You’re hammered drunk and you ruined Egbert’s birthday and if he wasn’t drunk too, he’d probably be mad at you because you’re a worthless piece of mutated shit. Gog this is all so messed up. </p><p>Fuck Egbert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Arms of an Egbert

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tortoiseshellKelpie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tortoiseshellKelpie/gifts).



> This fic is a birthday gift to my moirail, Luna, and it belongs to her.  
> It is an AU wherein trolls have set up colonies on earth and basically co-inhabit with humans. Sburb did not happen but may be added later. As well as additional chapters.  
> I do not own the characters. They belong to Hussie.  
> And I do not own Angel, by Sarah McLauchlan.  
> And I do not own City of Angels, the movie.

Your Name is Karkat Vantas and this had better not be a dream.

You can feel the sappiness of a thousand RomComs in the air. Off in the distance, an angelic voice comes to you. It is soft and melodious.

“Spend all your time waiting for that second chance, for a break that will make it okay…”

You strain to see the singer shrouded in a misty azure haze.  As the song grows louder, you can tell it is Angel by Sarah McLachlan.

“There’s always some reason, to feel not good enough.”

But this voice…

“And it’s hard at the end of the day”

 It isn’t Sarah.

“I need some distraction, or a beautiful release, memories seep through my veins.”

It’s a male voice.

“Let me be empty and weightless and maybe…”

And unlike Sarah’s, it’s full of longing.

“I’ll find some peace tonight.”

You wait with bated breath for the singer to reveal himself. But, your bloodpusher already knows him. The notion fills you with flushed hope. A tiny breeze caresses your cheek and you blush feeling violated and loving it. As he emerges, pectorals glistening with condensation in the mist, you feel yourself being drawn to him as if the wind was pushing you. It’s so cold, a shiver vibrates through up your back and out to your extremities. Can the wind even do that? It can blow down power lines like when the-  wait, what the fuck are you saying? Who gives a shit? Not you. There is a naked asshat before you whom you are planning to have hours of uncensored xeno sex with. Yet here you are swooning like a fucking wiggler, thinking about air. Sometimes you’re pretty sure you have a problem.

“Karkat…” The whisper startles you. In your deep felt self berating, you hadn’t realized that you were now face to face with- you swallow, unable to think his name. He smiles at you knowingly. You stare at him lustfully as he pins you against a wall you hadn’t known was there.

“Karkat.” 

You mumble out a reply but it comes out as a strangled high pitch trill. He strokes circles into your bare grey chest with a feather light finger, biting softly on his lower pink lip.

“Please?”

All you can do is nod pathetically. Fucking great. You’re officially at his undivided mercy. You hope he moves down to your bonebuldge. He does. Another shiver. Your nook is aching. He leans into you. You can feel his human buldge against your trembling thigh. It’s pulsing reflexively like your own.

“KARKAT PLEASE!!!” He keens thrusting his full weight into you. You gasp. 

Back arching under his hold, your breath is squeezed out of you. “I need you” is what you want to tell him, but instead a tentative mewl vacates your protein shoot. “Oh John…”

“KARKAT!” He begs. Yes, you want him to beg you again. You feel your buldge pulling his into you, locking you together. Warmness clings down your leg.

Stress reins you as you try to breathe. All you want to do is respond in the most physical way possible but something seems to be smothering you… no wait. Shaking you?

“Karkat? _Please_ wake up you’re scaring me!”

“Juh- Nnngg- John?” You find your voice but the weight is growing heavier and colder. You’re gasping “Don’t stop…”

“Karkat!” You are greeted with the corniest buck toothed smile. It’s so corny; you can’t help but smile too. “Can you hear me? Uh.. hey. Karkat?”

You open your eyes not even realizing they had been closed. Fuck. It was all a dream. An eager Egbert is hovering over you with that same stupid smile; only this one is more concerned than suggestive. You grunt and shift your position. Why are you so fucking heavy? At this point, your entire chest begins throbbing in a dull, burning sort of ache.

“Welcome back! Whew I thought you were a goner for a minute there.” John wraps his skinny pencil arms around you again, but this time it’s more of an awkward shoulder rub than a hug. It dawns on you that you are laying down in the middle of a large bed and if it wasn’t for Egbert’s large domicile, you’d be staring at be ceiling.

“What the fucking _hell_ John?” This is the most brilliant response you can muster.

“Eheheh Yep. You must be feeling better.”

“No, I actually feel like a pile of hoofbeast shit.”

“That sounds about right. You kind of… fell, when you passed out” He admits sheepishly.

“When did I pass out?”

“Right after you gave my slime ghost beanie chair a lap dance.”

This is news to you.

“John, why the fuck would I even go near your shitfestering germ chair?” 

“I dunno.” He shrugs. “You were pretty wasted. I still feel kind of tipsy myself, Eheheh.”

“That’s bullshit. I don’t drink.”

“Well, you do on my birthday.”

That’s when your sludge of a Thinkpan starts catching up with you. Oh fuck. the party. You had totally forgotten. You spent most of the night eyeing John precariously from a carefully selected sofa cushion next to John’s favorite beanie chair while he talked off Harley’s ear with how amazing Nick was in City of Angels. Gamzee had come over to cheer you up with a party hat and a bottle of cheap Champaign. Next thing you knew, you were face first with John’s carpet and your dome was trying to split itself in half. How does that fucking clown always manage to get you smashed? He’s like a walking narcotic. Jegus Fuck your head hurts.

“You know,” John added for good measure, “You’re not so cranky when you drink? It’s kinda nice.”

“Shut up John.” You grumble.

He giggles at you.

You cautiously sit up and something cold and slushy falls off to your side. You look down for the source of the strange sensation. Your chest is a raw slab of reddish grey. To your side, a large half melted bag of ice is soaking the mattress. A fucking bag of ice. You are going to kill John after you force him to bring you a towel. No wait… maybe you’ll just ask for new cloths. Asking for a towel will make this situation way more fucking awkward than it needs to be. You opt for stupidity instead.

“Is that a bag of ice?” 

“Sollux said it would help with the fever.”

“Are you on shit pills? What fever?”

“The one that trolls get when they pass out drunk, duh.”

You feel a vein flexing in your upper lobe, threatening to burst. Sollux, that fucking good for nothing nooksniffing douche bag. He even roped your flush crush into the prank, how fucking thoughtful of him. Lisping bastard.

“You want me to grab you a towel Karkat?”

You close your eyes and tell yourself not to murder John because he’s just trying to help. You picture yourself in a calm summer field, not strangling an inebriated John Egbert.

“Fuck. No.”

“Um.. are you sure? At least until you get some cloths on?”

“Of course. I should have fucking known. I’m naked. That is the fucking topper on my happy fun time dumbfuckery cake.”

“I put a blanket on you.” John offers.

“Well thanks for that I guess.” You can tell you’re still drunk as hell. Some distant part of you feels like this revelation should bother you more. You should be mortified. But instead, you feel hungry and your chest is burning.

Egbert bounces up and exits the room saying something about aspirin.

Well perfect. You’re hammered drunk and you ruined Egbert’s birthday and if he wasn’t drunk too, he’d probably be mad at you because you’re a worthless piece of mutated shit. Gog this is all so messed up. Fuck Egbert.

Once you’re sure he’s gone you let frustrated tears slip your lids. Just _FUCK HIM_! How can he be such a clueless goofing douche muffin? Your inner voice suggests you take this opportunity to get dressed but you ignore it and draw your knees to your chest, leaning your pulsing head against them. You close your eyes and focus on not feeling sick to your stomach. John is such an idiot. The fact that you’re even here should tell him something. Other than your shared interest in shitty movies, you have nothing in common. What a dick. You find your thoughts wandering to more vulgar ideas that would normally make your buldge harden but all it’s doing now is making you squeeze your eyes tighter. A few hiccups later, John returns with a glass of water, a pill bottle, and a… you groan. He has a towel. Of fucking course he does. And the award for biggest fucking numbskull ever goes to-

“Here, this should help the hangover.” He holds his hand out at you. You consider taking them from his hand with your mouth like a stupid animal but think better of it. Instead, you gingerly accept his offer between your forefingers and slip the bitter white chalk circles between your dry lips. He holds out the water but you shake your head. A few loose strands fall into your face. You make no attempt to move them. You’re too depressed to care anymore. John sits on the edge of his bed and eyes you. You aren’t looking at him, but you have always been able to feel when clueless assholes are staring at you.

“Are you okay?”

You stay silent.

“Um, this is from Equius. He hopes you uh…” John struggles to finish “feel better.” You glare up at him and his white towel but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“You dry off with it.” He suggests.

“I know how to use a towel bucktooth.” You snatch it from him. He giggles.

“What’s so fucking funny? I don’t see anything humorous about this awkward exchange.”  You start wiping off your forehead.

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “You’re just adorabloodthirsty sometimes.”

“Uugghhh! Why does everyone keep saying that? What in jegus fuck does that even mean?”

“It means you’re adorable when you’re being bloodthirsty.” He gives you a goofy eye waggle. You wish he would just shut up. You chuck your towel at him, but this only seems to make him laugh harder. “Oh my god Karkat! You’re so cute.”

“John, listen to me very carefully you dumbass. I have spent countless sweeps trying to be a good leader and build up the kind of respect a nooksniffer like you could only dream of. I am not fucking cute. I am terrifying and authoritative. Don’t be stupid.”

“Jeez Karkat calm down. You’re so moody!”

“Of course I’m fucking moody because I just wasted precious moments of my life passed out on your stupid human coon slab while you watched over my naked body. I mean, that has got to be the creepiest gesture of friendship that I have ever been shamed to be subjected to. You put fucking Eridan to shame. It shrivels my buldge just thinking about it.” Your eyes are practically bulging out of your head by now. You have to stop to breathe as the frustration rises.

“Okay well,” John takes advantage of your momentary pause.  “Now that you’re feeling better-”

“I’m not done you crotchstained barfpuppet!” You jab a finger at him. “I don’t think you realize the extent of this atrocity. I am fucking naked. Why the fuck would you ever listen to that pathetic lardsack Sollux? Are you fucking happy?”

“I guess not, but Karkat I-”

“No! No John. You nothing. You’re such an idiot! I don’t even know why I tolerate our friendship. You drive me assbackwards up the wall of the hatefully insane. I can’t believe I spent this entire night pining after your dumb ass. I fucking _like_ you shithead.” There it was. Your deepest secret out in the open.

“Karkat you-”

 “Shut up Egbert! Bad shit happened to me tonight and you’re fucking chipper about it! Look at you! Do you even register anything in that thick think pan of yours?” You feel the sting of red tears bubbling up.

“Karkat I think you should-”

“ _And then_ you bring me one of Zahhak’s fucking sweat towels. A _sweat_ towel John. I could literally kill you for that.”

“Karkat!”

“WHAT!?”

He plants a bucktoothed kiss just as your lips part for another rant.

That got your attention.

He doesn’t pull away and you don’t want him to. You moan like an idiot but he laughs warmly. You can feel his smile against your lips. You think he says “You’re still naked” but it comes out muffled against your reply grunt. You want to tell him he’s stupid but you can’t talk. Your mouth’s busy.


	2. Shit Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat confronts John via Trollian and shit hits the ceiling.  
> Karkat's broken and Sollux forces John to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a colab chapter with Kitkat13194 from fanfiction.net "aka" Luna and I'm really happy with the results. We might even do this again. This chapter has minimal editing so if you find something feel free to tell me. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

 

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-

 

CG: HEY JOHN ARE YOU THERE?

CG: EGBERT!?

EB: Hey Karkat!

EB: What’s up?

CG: UH NOTHING MUCH.

CG: HEY I WANTED TO DISCUSS YESTERDAY...

EB: Oh... ya. hehe, that was an awesome party! Am I right or am I right?

CG: I GUESS

CG: IF YOU CONSIDER SHENANIGANS AND DUMBFUCKERY AWESOME WHICH IS THE WRONG USE OF THAT WORD YOU IGNORAMUS

CG:BUT I MEANT THE END OF THE PARTY

EB: Right. Things got kind of awkward there. Um...

EB: I’m not really sure how drunk I was. I mean no offense Karkat.

CG: DO YOU... REMEMBER ANYTHING?

CG: ABOUT... WHAT HAPPENED?

EB: I remember you passing out... and...Sollux thought it would be a good idea if I took off your clothes...

EB: Something about a fever...

EB: That was apparently not true... I think you yelled at me for that.

CG: YES. I DID. BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON FOR LISTENING TO THAT LISPING DOUCHE.

CG: BUT... DO YOU REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE?

CG: ABOUT US... DOING STUFF TOGETHER?

EB: Oh... OH! That’s what you're getting at...

EB: Uh, please don't be angry about that.

EB: It was just a kiss... I’m sorry if it was like, taking advantage or something. Like I said I was pretty drunk.

CG: JOHN

CG: YOU MEANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME DIDN’T YOU?

EB: What?!?!!

EB: No!

EB: Nononononononono!!!!!

EB: Karkat I wouldn’t ever do anything like that!

EB: I mean we’re palhonchos, remember?

CG: YEAH. I REMEMBER.

CG: I AM PISS DRUNK MAD AT YOU FOR THAT. YOU FUCKING KISSED ME.

CG: WHY DID YOU KISS ME JOHN?

CG: AND DON’T SAY YOU WERE FUCKING DRUNK. THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED.

EB: Look... I’m sorry.

EB: I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. I...

EB: I’m really not sure why... that... happened.

EB: Please please please don’t be mad!

CG: TOO LATE.

CG: I JUST SAID THAT I AM PISS DRUNK MAD AT YOU.

CG: YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING MAD JOHN. I’M TIRED OF HOW OBNOXIOUSLY UNAWARE YOU ARE ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

CG: DO YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU KISSED ME?

CG:JOHN?

CG: HELLO?

CG: EARTH TO EGBERT!

CG: I ASKED YOU A FUCKING QUESTION

EB: Gosh. I just really don’t know how to respond.

EB: I’m banging my head against the wall here. I think that, besides the obvious.

EB: Maybe... God damnit Karkat. I can’t put it into words very well.

CG: OKAY JOHN LET ME HELP YOU

CG: YOU KISSED ME WHILE I WAS NAKED ON YOUR BED COVERED IN FUCKING ICE

CG: AND THEN YOU LEFT WITH DAVE TO WATCH ERIDAN AND SOLLUX BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER WHILE I SAT ON YOUR BED HOLDING MYSELF AND CRYING LIKE A WIGGLER WISHING I HAD THE GUTS TO CULL MYSELF BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE MUST REALLY FUCKING HATE ME.

CG: I FUCKING KISSED YOU BACK JOHN.

CG: AND YOU DON’T REMEMBER.

CG: I LOATH YOU.

EB: Wow.

EB: Uh...

EB: Karkat. I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am for everything. I had absolutely no idea I that I was causing you this much pain.

EB: I don’t want that.

EB: The thing is, I guess for a while now... I’ve been trying to... organize my thoughts, and I know you’re going to say that there aren’t any thoughts in my head to organize... but perhaps what I’m getting at is that I’ve been sort of thinking that we might have the potential to be something more than just friendleaders...

EB: I guess now it’s too late though. huh.

EB: I must have blown my chances at ever figuring this out.

CG:...

CG: JOHN

CG: THAT IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY?

CG: HOW CAN YOU... YOU...

CG: HOW

CG: FUCK

CG: JUST FUCK

CG: GOD DAMMIT

EB: Karkat?

EB: I need to know what’s wrong.

CG: JOHN

CG: JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN

CG: JOHN EGBERT NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH KARKAT

CG: IS KARKAT SAD? IS HE HAPPY? DOES HE WANT TO STRANGLE JOHN UNTIL HIS HUMAN GANDERBULBS BULGE OUT OF THEIR ORBITALS? WHAT’S WRONG WITH KARKAT!?

CG: EVERYONE WANTS TO FUCKING KNOW!

CG: YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME FUCKASS?

CG: WELL I’LL TELL YOU JOHN.

CG: ALL OF THE FUCKING HORSHIT YOU AND YOUR DUMFUCKERY PUTS ME THROUGH HAS CAUSED ME TO CONTEMPLATE RIPPING OUT MY OWN BLOODPUSHER AND WATCHING IT WRITHE ON THE DESOLATE GROUND WHILE I CONTEMPLATE  THE END OF MY MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE BECAUSE MUTANT SHITS LIKE ME OBVIOUSLY DON’T HAVE HAPPY ENDINGS.

CG: WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW JOHN?

CG: WOULD IT QUENCH YOUR BUSY BODY NOSE TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE MY FIRST FLUSH CRUSH?

CG: OH YEAH AND IN CASE IT WASN’T BLATANT ALREADY

CG: I’M FLUSHED FOR YOU IN THE REDDEST SENSE

CG: OOO HOW ABOUT THIS? I HAVE DREAMS ABOUT YOU RAPING ME

CG: I LIKE THOSE DREAMS JOHN.

CG: I WANT YOU TO FUCKING RAPE ME

CG: FUCK ME JOHN

CG: ARE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE EGBERT?

CG: GOOD!

CG: ROT IN HELL YOU PESTILENT FUCK

CG: FUCK YOU

 

-carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-

 

EB: … Shit...

 

-ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]-

 

 

 

 

 

-twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-

 

TA: hey uh john

TA: john ii need to talk two you a2ap

EB: Uh, hi...

TA: ii’m goiing two try two be ciiviil about thii2

TA: ii thiink you broke KK and that’2 not okay wiith me

EB: Is he that bad?

EB: God, I feel absolutely awful about this whole thing.

EB: I don’t know what to do...

TA: yeah iit’2 not pretty

TA: he’2 not re2pon2iive and ii have no fuckiing clue what two do wiith hiim he’2 ju2t layiing on the floor 2tariing. ii even kiicked hiim. he just grunted.

TA: iit’2 2cariing the 2hiit out of me

EB: Oh man.

EB: Fuck... this is all my fault. I’m such an ass...

TA: ii’m u2ually the a22hat but you’ve defiiniitely taken that tiitle

TA: part of me want2 two tear you two 2hred2 wiith p2iiioniic2 but ii’m more worriied about KK than ii am about my own need two kiill you.

TA: ba2iically ii need you two help me fiix my be2t friiend and ii  gue22 ii can alway2 murder you iif you faiil

EB: I think that sounds completely fair... Shit...

EB: Should I come over or something?

EB: I feel like crawling out from under this rock I’m hiding beneath will result in my death anyway. Either by your hands or someone elses...

TA: iit miight re2ult iin your death but KK need2 you and that’2 a rii2k ii’m wiiliing to take

TA: be2iide2 you don’t really get a say con2iideriing thii2 ii2 your fault two begiin wiith 

EB: Fuck your right. What’s the plan here?

TA: of cour2e ii’m riight

TA: anyway2, you’re goiing two come over two our hiive and help me scrape KK’2 a22 off hii2 floor and iif we can’t get hiim two do 2omethiing coherent ii’m thiinking ho2piital

EB: Alright. I’ll be there in 30 minutes.

TA: door’2 unlocked

-twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB]-

 

The house seems empty. You guess Sollux and Karkat are back in Karkat’s respite block. The door is cracked and your heart starts to beat faster, but is sinking at the same time... It’s tempting to just turn around and leave. You take a deep breath and tap the door with your knuckles.

 

“Sollux? You back here?”

 

“KK pleathe? You can even make me your bitch. How doeth that thound? All you have to do ith get up, thay thomething jutht...thit KK I’m gonna kill Egbert if you don’t come out of thith okay.”

 

You must not have knocked loud enough. Sollux hasn’t noticed you.

 

“Fucking dammit KK get up!”

 

“Um... Hey... Still no change?”

 

“Thank fucking god. I wath about to zap him again.”

 

“I don’t think that’d really do anything. When we were talking he kept saying some sort of really cynical things...”

 

You look away, the image of karkat laying unresponsive is sort of disturbing.

 

“That’th jutht KK. He’th alwayth like that.”

 

You hear something shifting.

 

“Hey fuckath I brought you the queen of fairy land and the’th going to kith you and make it better. Ithn’t that right your majethy?”

 

“Uh... yeah...”

 

Your face flushes at the thought.

 

Looking around you notice Karkat’s chair has been tipped over... It looks as if he just fell out of it and decided not to get up. You imagine that it must have happened after he signed off. You proceed to feel more like a piece of shit.

 

As Sollux stands up Karkat curls a little bit more in on himself... at least he’s not as comatose as you thought.

 

“Anytime princeth”

 

You give a little nod and kneel down next to the smaller troll’s imobile frame.

 

“Karkat? Can you hear me?”

 

There isn’t a visual response, but you feel like he tensed up more. Honestly if your opinion of yourself  drops any lower it will have managed to find it’s way to the other side of the planet.

 

“I am so sorry. I have to be the biggest fuck up on the planet, no both our planets, to have gone this long and not have seen what was going on.”

 

“Don’t forget hell Egbert. You’re the biggetht athole there too.”

 

“I deserved that. I deserve every insult anyone has ever thrown at me. I am the worst. It is me.”

 

“Quit beating yourthelf up and focuth. KK moved when you admitted what an ath you are. Do that again.”

 

“While it is true that I am an ass and unworthy piece of shit, the focus shouldn’t be on me. Karkat, you need to snap out of this. I’m sorry I was oblivious to all of your feelings... all the signs. I think I knew and just never acted on it, because I was oblivious to my own. I know now that I should have just sucked it up and stopped with this internal struggle I had. I should have just asked you out.”

 

Your wringing your hands on your lap. not sure what to do with them. You opt to place a hand on his shoulder. Maybe just touching him will create a response.

 

He growls.

 

“theriouthly KK? Fuck your melodramatic thit. I fucking zapped you!  You couldn’t have managed a rethponthe then? You thcared the thit out of me!”

 

Karkat mumbles something in a very low voice.

 

You lean in closer. “What?”

 

“I said, get the fuck away from me.”

 

“Karkat, all I want to do is help.”

 

“Well you can take your ‘help’ and shove it up your nook...”

 

You don’t move away.

 

“I don’t NEED your pity John... get your fucking hand off me and leave.”

 

Of course you don’t. You know you're asking for it now, but you can’t get up yet. Not until you're sure he’s ok.

 

This was apparently the exact wrong thing to do. The growl Karkat is making has now become angry enough that even Sollux is startled out of his relaxed pose against the wall. At the exact moment you notice Karkat is moving your flung back against the floor.

 

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

 

“Woah Karkat! please don’t do anything drastic. I’ll leave if that’s what you want!”

 

The seering troll is now leaning over you one hand on either side of your head. He snarls.

 

“You NEVER fucking listen John.”

 

Everything happens a little too quickly for you to understand or get a clear picture of it. Karkat had lunged forward and his dagger teeth sank into your shoulder, pain tearing through your arm and neck.

The next instant the teeth are gone. The crackle of electricity fills the air and Karkat is laying against the wall on the other side of the room. Really looking unconscious this time.

 

“Fucking chill KK! Jeguth Fuck... John are you okay?”

 

You just lay there. In shock for the second time tonight.

 

Sollux kneels down and waves a bony hand in your face.

 

“John? Oh thit you’re bleeding. Fuck.” 

 

You laugh. Of all the responses you could have to what just happened, you laugh... hysterically. The pain in your shoulder gets worse and you can feel the blood soaking the collar of your shirt. You manage to calm down enough to look at Karkat’s slumped over figure.

 

“I think we need to go to the hospital after all.”

 

Sollux gets up and walks out of view. You can’t look away from Karkat. He comes back and hands you a towel. You chuckle and wonder who’s it is.

 

“I know you’re probably in thock right now but that’th not gonna work for me. I need you to try coherenthy long enough for me to get you both in my car.”

 

“Can’t you just carry us with your psychic electricity thing?”

 

“Pthionicth. And yeah I gueth I could. But considering how pithed I am right now, I might athidently kill you. I probably won’t kill KK, but thinthe you’re helping me anywath it’th probably betht I don’t uthe them around you.”

 

“Well then, I guess I should get up.”

 

You throw the towel over your shoulder and tie it across your chest. It doesn’t help much, but at least you won't be bleeding all over the place. Stumbling, you manage to get on your feet and walk over to Karkat.

 

“Come on, before I bleed out.”

 

“Okay, take hith other arm. On the count of three we’re gonna-- oh thit.”

 

“Wait... Shit what? what’s wrong?”

 

“I threw KK a little too hard. The back of hith head’th bleeding.”

 

“Fuck. Uh... do we need another towel? Should we call an ambulance? I don’t know, this is bad isn’t it? like _bad_ -bad?”

 

“Fuck towelth. It’th the concuthion I’m worried about. The anbulanthe will come from the fire thtation. The hothpital’th only ten minuteth away and I plan on rithking a thpeeding ticket.”

 

“Well then lets put some hep in our step and get a move on!!!”

 

You reach down a grab Karkat’s arm planning on dragging him outside by yourself if needs be.

 

“John move.” Sollux grabs under Karkat’s arm and lifts him onto his back with a grunt. “Come on, I can’t carry you both.”


	3. Prison Soap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor John is having the worst doctor visit of his life. His doctor is scary. His boyfriend is dead. And an undercover cop is going to drag him away to prison. At least they gave him drugs first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow these chapters have been proof that two heads are better than one! Thanks so much Luna! You're the best moirial ever! 
> 
> Our creative thinkpans are exploding with ideas and just couldn't wait to write this so here's chapter three! 
> 
> Last chapter before Karkat! 
> 
> So excited! :D

       The car comes to a screeching halt in front of the Emergency Drop-off door. Sollux throws the car into park and pulls Karkat out over you as you cling to the wall of the backseat. You don’t follow, thinking that someone should stay with the running vehicle. A few moments later you hear a strained “Come on athat, you’re bleeding all over my car.”  Maybe you’ve lost more blood than you thought, because it takes a moment for you to register the call. By the time what little sense you have left comes fumbling to your brain a crackling force is pushing you out the now open door after Sollux.

 

       As you stumble through the double doors into the ER the electricity stops and you fall flat on your face into the cold unforgiving tiled floor. You’re pretty sure you’ve just broken something but your thrumming head won’t let you focus on anything else. The fresh blood you’re laying in is definitely not yours and you become overly concerned as to whose it is and why you fell in it. Then someone steps on you- no trips over you and a cacophony of clattering metal fills the otherwise calm waiting area.

 

“Fucking great EB. I can’t leave you alone for two thecondth without you trying to thwart my dreamth of killing you mythelf.” 

 

“mmph” is the only response you can muster.

 

       After a moment, you can feel someone helping you up and your butt finds a chair that is not particularly comfy. A cloth is pushed into your hand and only now you realize your nose is bleeding. Great, just the thing you needed. The feet of Sollux and someone with very white shoes are directly within your sideways view of the floor.

 

“Do you need help up hun?”

 

“Careful not to touch hith blood. He hath AIDth.”

 

You try to say, “He’s lying ma’am” but it comes out as “Mhmph mom”.

 

“Here let’s get you up before you try talkin’.”

 

       Clearing your throat you manage to actually form a coherent, “I don’t have AIDs.” and shoot Sollux a little glare as the portly nurse places your arm over her shoulder. You realize she’s several inches taller than you and your bad arm is starting to burn as it tenses because of the displacement between your shoulders. The two of you sort of hobble out of the waiting area into a room divided into sections by pastel blue curtains. You notice she’s wearing gloves.

 

“I really don’t have AIDS.”

 

“It’s just a precaution sugar.” she smiles down at you as you enter one of the curtained off cubicles.

 

       As you climb onto the bed she rummages through a cabinet and produces two white pills and a paper Dixie cup that she fills with water from a nearby sink. You gladly take them from her as she turns around for something else. For some reason she makes you think of your sweet Nana. It’s a nice comfort until a stabbing pain in your lower arm ruins it.

 

“OOOOOOW that really hurts Charlie!” 

 

       “My name’s Joanne but you can call me Charlie.” She smiles. “You’ve got some squirmy veins kiddo. I’m gonna try again but hold real still and this won’t hurt a bit.” You took her reassurance as a definite sign that it would hurt more than a bit. “It’s just an IV for later.”

 

       The needle stings, but you get used to it relatively quickly, or maybe the bee sting is nothing in comparison to your shoulder as the nurse peels off the soaking towel and then goes for your shirt. Flailing, you almost fall off the bed but she keeps her grip on you and don’t plummet to the floor again.

 

“I need to get your shirt off so I can molest you like a newborn hoofbeast.”

 

“What?!!?!?!”

 

“I _said_ ‘I need to get your shirt off so I can get you cleaned up.’ You’re gonna need stitches.”

 

“What? But I didn’t do anything wrong!” You begin to cry like a baby.

 

“They’re just stitcheshun, your shoulder is torn up something awful.”

 

       You manage to mumble an “oh” and wipe your face with the cloth you had been given in the lobby... after which you remember that it was bloody from your broken nose. You give up. This has been a total mess of an evening. And to make it all worse, you’re probably directly responsible for the death of your would be boyfriend. An alarm sounds in your dimming conscious.

 

“Where’s Karkat!”

 

“Karkat? Honey you’re gonna half’ta be more specific.”

 

       “I killed him!” You wail. “I didn’t mean to oh God I’m a bad brohaunchooooo!” Your sudden breakdown startles the nurse but she pats your good arm in mock understanding and shooshes you.

 

“Just settle down John. Everythin’s fine.” Hysterical terror reigns you.

 

“You know my name! Who sent you?” You shriek.

       You aren’t really sure why you shriek or what’s going on at this point. All you know is that Karkat is dead somewhere nearby and the police are on to you. This nurse, what was her name?... Charlie?... she must be an undercover agent and is trying to make you confess. Which you just did! Oh no, you’re going to rot away in prison picking up soap. You don’t even know why prisoners have soap in prison but you certainly don’t want to find out.

 

“Curse you Charlie! You’ll never take me alive. Or _dead_! HAHA!!!”

 

       You start to cackle triumphantly but the pain in your shoulder reminds you that you’ve forgotten something more important than anything. Karkat would have been able to tell you what you’re forgetting. You miss the angry troll. If only you hadn’t killed him.

 

       You can feel your consciousness slipping, “I want to see _Kar_ kat...” you manage to squeak, eyes tearing up again. Nurse Charlie leans you back against the bed, probably preparing you for arrest.

 

“It’s okay sugar. You just take it easy now. I’m gonna get your friend while you wait.”

 

       You nod meekly hoping that identifying the body won’t incriminate you any more than you already have. Then you realize you don’t care if you spend the rest of your days picking up soapy prisons. You just want Karkat back. You’re face cleanches. You can’t believe he’s gone. You wish you had told him that you loved him while you still had the chance.

 

       At that moment, your curtain pulls back and the nurse made good on her promise. But instead of a dead Karkat, the blurry figure standing at the foot of your bed was very much alive.

 

       “Karkat! You’re alive! I love you so much!” You’re really bawling now. “I’m so sorry I didn’t have the guts to say it...” Your sentence chokes off with a sob.

 

“I love you too princeth.”

 

You look up startled and squint through broken frames to see not a living Karkat, but a pain in the ass Sollux.

 

“Sollux...?” you fall back on the pillows. You hadn’t even realized you were sitting up.

 

“I guess I really did kill Karkat then.” You can’t even make yourself cry. You’re too exhausted.

 

“Tho you don’t love me?” You feel the sting of would be tears and you dry-heave a sob.

 

       “Fuck John I’m jutht mething with you. KK’th fine. Well he’th alive, ith what I meant. I actually don’t know how he ith yet. They’re jutht running tethtth right now.”

 

“So he’s not dead? I didn’t kill him? I’m not going to prison to be forced to pick up soap for the rest of my life?”

 

“No EB. Eveyone knowth there’th no thoap in prithon.”

 

“So what’s the deal with picking up soap? Why is that a thing?”

 

       “Well, when two inmateth love eachother very much-” Sollux is cut off as the curtain pulls back and a suave looking troll struts over towards them in purple scrubs.

 

“Not to interrupt yous guys but the doctor has arrivwed.” He winks at you in the corniest way imaginable.

 

“Oh thhit, an Ampora.”

 

“A whaaaaat?” You are so confused.

 

“Do I knowv Ya or somefin?”

 

“Fuck no. But you look like Eridan Ampora’th hatchmate.” 

 

“Oh ya that lil’ pipsqueak? Did he do this?” He points at your mauled shoulder.

 

“Wha- no... Karkat did. But it’s totally not his fault!!! I mean I was being an ass... and... Oh no I think I killed him!” You wail. Sollux sighs. 

 

“I already told you dumbath, KK’th fine. You didn’t kill anyone.” 

 

       “Oh... right. I forgot.” There must be something wrong with you. You mean besides the obvious. What did agent Charlie slip in your drink? You’re about to verbalize your concern when the older troll is suddenly shining a light in your face.

 

       “Wvell kid, looks like ya smacked your face kinda hard. Musta broken your nose. But, it doesn’t seem like it wvoulda rattled your thinkpan around too much. It’s a minor concussion at wvorst. Your shoulder, on the other hand, is gonna need some wvork.”

 

“Are you going to cut it off?” That question should scare you but you don’t feel much beyond the curiosity of knowing things.

 

The doctor chuckles, “Nah, just some serious stitches.”

 

“Jutht thtitcheth? You thure you don’t want to cut it off?” You hope Sollux is joking but you’re too tired to figure it out. The doctor turns to look at him.

 

“Are you a Captor?”

 

“Yeth.”

 

“Is there somefin wvrong wvith your brain?”

 

“Uh no?”

 

       “I’m pretty sure there is. You have a speech impediment at best.” Sollux glares at him and you giggle. The doc shoots you another questionable wink and Sollux starts to back away from your side.

 

       “Well, gueth there’th not much uthe for me here. I’m gonna go wait out there tho I can be there when they figure out what’th wrong with KK.” He leaves without telling either of you goodbye. You’re okay with that. But then you realize who you’ve been left with... alone.

 

The panic on your face must have been pretty apparent, because the doctor seems to have turned down his charm... at least to a smolder.

 

“S’okay kid.I don’t bite... minors.” queue questionable wink.

 

Your response is nothing more than a squeak.

 

“I’m just playin’ ya. Come on kid lighten up a bait. Wvith all that hydrocodon I’m sure you can crack a smile.”

 

You try to smile at him. It comes out all sheepish but it must have sufficed, because the doctor smiles back and finally introduces himself.

 

“The name’s Cronus. I’d shake your hand but I don’t suppose yous can move it much.”

 

You sort of nod in agreement.

 

“I’m gonna go get some supplies to stitch this up,” Indicating your shoulder, “I’ll be right back. In the mean times... just hold this here.”

 

       Doctor Cronus places a fresh gauze sheet on your shoulder and walks out. When he returns, the _I should be scared_ feeling returns with him. In one hand, he’s got an IV bag of clear stuff and in the other... the shiniest needle you’ve ever seen in your life. The light glints off of it like a menacing promise. The needle is hooked at the end too.

 

Again he seems to read the panic on your face.

 

       “Don’t wvorry so much sea squirt. This is just iodine to clean your system. And this,” He grins, holding up the needle, “is just a little needle. Trust me, you won’t feel anyfin. The area will be plenty numb by the time wve start wvorking on it.”

 

You gulp and nod. At least you think you nod. You’re not feeling too alert anymore. Come to think of it, you could really use a nap. 

 

“I sawv on your chart that you just turned nineteen. Howv wvas your birthday?”  You close your eyes and nod.

 

“Oh come on kid. I’m lonely. Wvhy don’t yous tell me howv it wvent? Wvhat wvas your favworite part?”

 

Smiling you think back on that night. “Well, it was certainly one hell of a party. You know, loud music, dancing.”

 

“Dancin’ eh? Dance with anyprawvn special?” 

 

“Ya. My crush gave my beanie chair a lap dance. I should have dropped a pick up line but I was too nervous.”

 

“Wvas she any good?” 

 

“I guess I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t in the chair... and then he fell on his face.”

 

“Oh it’s a he?”

 

“Ya.” you blush. “he is definitely a _he._.. and I am definitely an ass.”

 

“Howv so?”

 

“I didn’t ask him out and he finally just flipped out on me. We got in a fight  and he chewed up my shoulder and I think I killed him.” 

 

“Do I need’ta go get an officer?”

 

“NO! Please don’t get agent Charlie again! I really am sorry...”

 

       “Agent Charlie? Kid, you krilly are somefin else.” He shakes his head. “Wvell, looks like you’re all fin-ished.” He starts taping a new gauze pad over your stitches. “Now let’s getta look at that crooked nose of yours.”

 

       He leans over and places his thumbs on either side of you swollen nose to make sure that it’s straight. You can definitely feel it more than when he stitched up your arm. But he quickly moves and places two white stripes across the bridge of your nose. They feel sort of like sticky canvas and are more rigid than normal bandages.

 

       “There,” Doctor Cronus smirks, inspecting his handiwork. “Good as newv. Wvell, almost. It’ll take a couple days for the swvelling to go dowvn.” He turns his back to you. “‘I’ll write ya a prescription for the pain.” When he turns back around, he’s holding an IV bag and a sticky note.

 

       “Let’s get these fluids in ya and then you’re a free man.” He hooks the bag to a long tube already screwed into your IV. You hadn’t noticed it before. After he hangs the bag on the sort of coat rack next to you, he gives you another wink and places the sticky note smack dab in the middle of your forehead.

 

“What’s that for?”

 

“This? Wvhy that’s your get outta jail free ticket kid.” 

 

       You beam at the paper sitting on your face. Hooray! This means you don’t have to go pick up soap... but you feel like someone told you that’s not a thing. You lean back and watch him close your curtain as he walks away. Now you’re really alone and it’s quiet. You remember how tired you are. You have no idea how long it’ll take that IV to empty and the bed is so comfy and inviting. Maybe you can just close your eyes for a minute... before you know it you're falling asleep.

 

\---

 

Your name is Sollux Captor and you don’t know how much more shit you can take.

 

       The Doctor and her lackeys had found you half asleep in the saddest excuse for an armchair in the history of your life. You didn’t hear them the first time they called your name, but by the third “Mr. Captor?” you were more awake than you had ever been and out of the god awful chair with a rush of urgency. Looking back on it, you wish you hadn’t gotten up so fast. Your head is definitely in a permanent state of aching. 

       As you enter the patient hallway, you try to work out how you’re going to tell John what the doctor had just told you. She hadn’t given you much to go on. Come to think of it, half of what she said wasn’t even English. Given your _outstanding_ vocabulary, that doesn’t surprise you. You’re such an idiot. Why are you even doing this? For KK? Fuck him.

        You turn the corner into John’s sardine section. The derphead is fast asleep. You heave a sigh. You guess you’ll have to tell him about KK tomorrow. Then you notice something. There’s a yellow post-it note dangling just above his drooping eyelids. You squint to read the word written on it in black ink.

 

“Dithcharged.”

 

That’s when you realize.

 

“Thhit.” You say to the sleeping John. “How am I going to get your ath back in my car?”


	4. Interlude Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an Update and a suggestion! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the link for Kissing Cancer, a JohnKat fic to read while you wait! ^^ 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/733871/chapters/1364283 
> 
> Or just visit my page and look for the title.

Luna and I have been struck with inspiration and we started writing another JohnKat that is our latest obsession. It's picked up a lot of momentum and we are currently posting chapters as we edit the 15,000 words we have already written. 

Please do not panic, I am still writing the next chapter of ==> Love Him! I’m just a little preoccupied with Kissing Cancer.

Please go read it in the meantime because it’s full of fluff and gets really smutty towards the end (although we haven’t edited and posted the smut yet.)

Thanks for all the kudos, comments, hits, bookmarks, and support!

You guys are awesome!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are welcome! I hope you enjoyed it!^^


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